The Carter Penny Transference
by SuperBear
Summary: Imagine that you are Major Samantha Carter of Stargate Command, and you wake up one day and find that you are Penny, a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory in Pasadena. Sam Carter didn't have to imagine. It happened to her. And things got stranger still when Colonel Jack O'Neill switched minds with Sheldon Cooper.


When the aliens looked for a way to save their world, they chose these four guys from Pasadena to help them: Howard Wolowitz, Raj Koothrappali, Leonard Hofstadter, and of course Sheldon Cooper.

These four guys would join the members of SG-1: Colonel Jack O'Neill, Daniel Jackson, Major Samantha Carter and Teal'c. When their friend Janet Fraiser nearly died in a Jaffa ambush, these four decided to continue on as a team for as long as needed, with O'Neill and Carter retaining their respective ranks of "colonel" and "major." Turning down a promotion from President Henry Hayes, General George Hammond also continued on at Stargate Command.

The aliens knew all this and more.

The aliens also arranged for two women to switch minds.

Put yourself in the place of one of those women.

Imagine that you are Major Samantha Carter of Stargate Command, and you wake up one morning and find that you are Penny, a waitress from the Cheesecake Factory in Pasadena.

Sam Carter didn't have to imagine. One morning she woke up and looked in the mirror. Looking back at her was a tan toned blond twenty-something in a pink nighty.

"What is this?" she said and found it was not her own voice.

Before she could consider further, she heard someone knocking at the door and calling a name.

Knock, knock, knock. "Penny?" Knock, knock, knock. "Penny?" Knock, knock, knock. "Penny?"

When she opened the door, she blinked her eyes (or rather, another person's eyes), There stood a tall lanky man with dark hair.

"Penny, I'd like to apologize for my latest faux pas. As you know, I'm not very good with social customs and conventions. Now that that's out of the way, Leonard and I are out of herbal tea. Do you have any?"

"Huh?" Carter said in that other voice as she used someone else's face to squint.

Across the hall, a short man with glasses and dark curly hair smiled and waved.

"Hey, Penny!"

"Penny?" Carter muttered quietly. "I'm a Penny?" She wondered if this was something Loki had done, like the time he made a young clone of Colonel O'Neill.

Looking and feeling confused, Carter walked over to the short guy. "Listen, I need your help. I'm suffering temporary amnesia or something." She wasn't about to tell them she was in another person's body. "Where am I? What's my situation?"

The tall one clapped his hands. "Oh, goody! I like this game. You're at Twenty-Three-Eleven North Los Robles in Pasadena."

"Pasadena," she whispered.

Wearing a broad smile, the short one then spoke. "Yeah, and you're Penny, and you work at the Cheesecake Factory, and you like stuffed animals."

"That would explain why I woke up with so many," Carter said, scratching her head. Or more correctly Penny's head..

The short man pointed to himself then the tall one. "I'm Leonard, this is Sheldon." He opened the door. "Raj and Howard are here, too."

Leonard pushed the door open to reveal two guys sitting on a couch. The short brown-haired man nodded in greeting. "Homette," he said. Next to him, a short dark-skinned man lifted a bottle of beer.

"What's happening?" he said.

As he turned away from the two, Leonard laughed a little. "So what's the deal? What's going on, Penny?"

"I'm not sure," Carter said then pursed her lips, or rather her host's lips. She wondered if this was what it was like to be a Goa'uld.

One thing was clear: whatever was going on, her friends and team members, along with the scientists at the SGC, would be better equipped at helping her figure out this situation.

"I have to get to Cheyenne Mountain," she decided.

The short brown-haired man came to the door. "What is this? Some kind of 'Close Encounters' thing?"

"Maybe," Carter said. "I just know I have to go."

"Road trip!" the brown-skinned man shouted. He smiled and lifted his beer bottle.

"I'll drive," Carter said.

"You have fun with that," Sheldon said in a bored voice as he walked to his room.

But then Sheldon had something weird happen to him: a little green man appeared to him.

Minutes later, they were all in the car and out on the open highway. Leonard, Howard and Raj argued about something involving Superman in the comic books then about something involving Superman in the movies and then about something involving Clark Kent on "Smallville."

"Watching that show is frustrating," Sheldon said as he shook his head. "Waiting for a man to fly when you know he can fly."

Howard leaned forward. "So what's the deal, Sheldon? You never go on road trips. Why this one?"

"An invisible alien told me I had to go," Sheldon explained blithely.

"Okay," Raj said.

"You don't say," from Leonard.

"It's true. He communicates with me telepathically."

"He's finally lost it," Howard muttered. "And I thought the poor guy left crazy behind in the rear view mirror a long time ago."

Initially, Carter thought these four guys could be helpful. Actually, she felt an almost compulsion to bring them along. Now she was starting to wonder if at least one of them was possibly dangerous.

It didn't help when Leonard leaned forward. "Since when do you believe in invisible aliens, Sheldon?"

"I don't. But until I know otherwise I'm open to the possibility." Sheldon paused as if listening. "He says he can get us there quickly and get us inside Cheyenne Mountain."

Howard was about to object when the car began moving so quickly that the front tires went up.

"I'm starting to believe," Sheldon said.

"So am I," Carter said. She took her hands off the steering wheel. It was almost like the car was driving itself. "But I have a more immediate concern. My check engine light is on. Doesn't this car get regular maintenance?"

"You would know," Leonard said.

"Actually, she wouldn't." A little green man suddenly appeared in the front seat, and the guys in the back all screamed. The green one spoke as if nothing had happened. "Your friend is actually Major Samantha Carter of Stargate Command."

Using Penny's face, Carter made a face. "Did you do this?" she asked as she waved her hands over the steering wheel.

"I did indeed, Major Carter. And now I will reveal to all your minds information about each other. Once we arrive at Cheyenne Mountain, I will reveal information about the mind transference. That way, we won't have to waste a lot of time with Major Carter trying to persuade Colonel O-Neill and the others she's inside another person."

"That should generally speed things up," a second green alien said as he appeared in the back seat. The three guys in the back all yelled and threw their arms up, with Leonard lifting up a crossed leg. "By the way, I'm Meldon and this is my brother Meldor."

"Meldor?" Sheldon said. "That's amazing! My online name for 'World of Warcraft' is Sheldor. Sheldor the Conqueror."

"That is very interesting, Sheldon," Meldor said. "We are hoping you can help us."

"Of course," Sheldon said. "As long as it's not too much bother."

"Wait," Carter said. "Why am I inside someone else's body? I think that's the biggest priority."

"We shall explain all when we arrive at Cheyenne Mountain," Meldor said.

"Yes, Major Carter. He said that earlier. Weren't you listening?" Sheldon asked.

Carter gave him a look. "There's a lot going on here."

"Aliens," Raj said breathlessly. Then he smiled. "Best road trip ever, dude!"

The situation inside Cheyenne Mountain was not quite as lively. Colonel Jack O'Neill, as usual, looked stone-faced while Daniel Jackson looked concerned and Teal'c, well, it was tough to read Teal'c's expression. Just another shade of grim and stoic as he did his eyebrow thing.

Carter appeared to them to be quite giddy as she lifted her fists and wore a big enthusiastic smile.

"Yes! I got to go through the Stargate! Yay!" More joyous hand-waving. "I got to visit another world! This is so cool!"

"Carter, you don't seem like yourself," O'Neill said flatly.

"No, you really don't," Daniel said with a kind of blank look.

"Go see ol' Doc Fraiser."

"Doctor Fraiser may indeed be of assistance, O-Neill." Though roughly the size of a mountain, Teal'c offered a gentle courteous bow.

"I feel fine...colonel." The enthusiastic smiling big-eyed blonde gave O'Neill a playful punch on the shoulder.

O'Neill put a hand on his shoulder. "Okay. See? That right there. You're not yourself."

"Your actions do seem most uncharacteristic, Major Carter."

"Don't sweat it, big guy. Look at me!" Penny-as-Carter held out her arms and twirled around.

"Maybe you should take it easy, Sam," Daniel said.

"I'm fine, Daniel! I feel great!" She stopped to look at her hands. :"Not as young as I used to be, though. How old is this woman? Forty?"

That was when a group of people and two little green men materialized in the conference room.

O'Neill lifted his eyebrows. "And you are?"

While the guys looked uncertainly at each other, General George Hammond stepped forward, and he was a little more direct. "Who are you people, and how did you get in here?"

"The little green aliens brought us here," Howard muttered with his hands up. "Please don't shoot us."

"Oh. Hey, guys," Penny-Carter said cheerfully. "How'd you get here?"

Leonard pointed down. "Like Howard said, the little green aliens brought us."

"Oh, cool!"

"What's your situation?" Leonard asked.

The one with Carter's face smiled. "I woke up this morning, and I was someone else. At first, it totally freaked me out. But I've been having so much fun!"

"I bet," Howard said.

"Hey!" O'Neill said sharply. "Someone want to explain what's going on here?"

"General, colonel, it's me," Carter said, again in Penny's voice. Wow, she thought. Even I wouldn't believe me.

As Meldor stepped forward, Carter thought how he looked like Thor, only bright green. Even the voice was the same.

"We shall reveal to your minds the basic situation now."

As images flashed through the minds of the people in the room, Meldor explained what they were seeing. On their world a great dictator ruled. What they hoped to do was have the dictator switch minds with one of the ordinary everyday people so he would become more sympathetic to them. But when they were forced to flee, they flew a small invisible craft through their world's Stargate to get to the one on Earth. They came out the one in Antarctica.

"That would explain the unusual seismographic activity we observed two weeks ago."

Except for the aliens, everyone in the room kind of balked. It was just so odd to hear talk like that coming from someone who looked like Penny.

"So that's our story," Meldor said.

"And now here is basic information about each other," Meldon said as he pointed a tiny green finger.

Everyone in the room blinked their eyes.

"Wow," O'Neill said as he looked at Sheldon and his friends. "You four are the biggest time-wasters ever."

"I don't know, Jack," Daniel said. "I think some of the things they do are kind of fun."

"Well then, maybe you can go back to Pasadena with them, Daniel."

Carter-as-Penny smiled. "I think some of your insights and theories are fascinating, Sheldon."

"Thank you, Major Carter," Sheldon said with a grin. "It's too bad you can't live across the hall from us."

"Hey!" Penny objected as Carter.

"Yeah, hey," Leonard said.

Howard raised his hand. "Does anyone else besides Daniel like us?"

"I find your antics amusing as well, Howard Wolowitz," Teal'c said.

"You can tell by how happy Teal'c looks," O'Neill said.

"Awesome. That's two votes," Raj said with a smile.

"I'm okay with you," Carter said as Penny.

"Three!" Raj gave two thumbs up while Howard gave one thumb up.

Leonard smiled as he bounced on his toes. "I think you guys with S-G-One are pretty cool, the way you secretly defend the planet." The others murmured their agreement.

O'Neill held out his hands. "Now that we all like each other, maybe we could find out what the little green guys want."

"I agree, Colonel O'Neill," Hammond said in his usual slightly gruff manner.

Penny-as-Carter bent over. "What do you want, little green guys? Oh, you're so cute!"

"It is very kind of you to say so, Miss Penny."

Next to Penny-Carter, Daniel adjusted his glasses. "From what I understand, Meldor, you and your brother are from a species called 'Deltians,' and on your world you live with other species, including humans."

Raising his eyebrows at Meldor, O'Neill pointed back and forth between the two women. "And you came all the way to Earth just to have Carter switch brains with this waitress?"

"You say 'waitress' like it's a bad thing," Penny-as-Carter demurred.

"Well, you're no Carter," O'Neill said.

Penny put a hand on Carter's hip. "Maybe in some ways I'm better."

"No, you're not." O'Neill once again directed his raised eyebrows at the little green man. "Now, you. Meldor. About this brain-switching thing?"

"We don't actually switch brains," Meldor said.

"Brains are physical, Colonel O-Neill," Sheldon said. "I don't think our alien friends have a transporter for brains."

Howard, Leonard and Raj leaned forward eagerly.

"You don't have a transporter of some kind, do you?" Howard asked.

"Or do you?" Raj asked.

Without waiting for an answer, the guys began discussing what they would do with a transporter. The conversation was very short.

"Hey!" O'Neill shouted. He then pointed to Meldor. "Go on."

"Oh!" Sheldon exclaimed. "This is so exciting. Stargates and other worlds! I envy you, Penny."

"That's a first," Penny said in Carter's voice.

"You two, hush!" O'Neill hissed. "Meldor, you're on."

The green alien bowed his head then spoke quietly. It sounded a lot like Thor, Carter thought. Maybe the two species were related somehow.

"As we monitored minds on your planet, we found four men of great intelligence in the Pasadena area." The guys kind of blushed as they shuffled their feet. "Plus their female friend who had a desire to be someone important, someone smart, someone who accomplished great things and had exciting adventures. And we also located Major Carter, who was very intelligent but also had a desire to have more fun in her life."

As the others looked at her, Carter-as-Penny responded sheepishly. "Sometimes I do feel that way."

"We all do, Sam," Daniel said.

"We needed to experiment with our mind transference device to make refinements and adjustments," Meldon explained. "So we tested it on these two female subjects."

"Well, I'm certainly having fun. Whoo!"

Using Penny's face, Carter made a face. "Don't have too much fun. That's my body. I want it back."

"I want mine back, too. Eventually."

With a slightly impatient look, O'Neill gingerly took the P-90 from the hands of Penny-Carter. "I'll just hang on to that."

"I can handle a weapon, Colonel O-Neill. I used to shoot things all the time in Nebraska."

"If we ever go to Nebraska, I'll give it back. I would have taken it away earlier if not for all the mind-zapping" O'Neill held out the weapon to Carter-Penny. "Carter, you remember how to fire one of these?"

"I think so. Yes, sir."

"Do we get weapons, too?" Howard asked eagerly.

"No," O'Neill said sternly.

"It doesn't have to be a machine gun type thing," Howard said meekly.

"Could I get some kind of phaser?" Raj asked. "Or maybe a blaster?"

"No!"

"How about one of these?"

"Do not touch my staff weapon, Raj Koothrappali."

"Okay." Raj held out a flat palm. "Chill, big guy."

"If everyone could pipe down, maybe the green guys can tell us what they want."

"We need your help on our world," Meldor said.

"I'm sorry," General Hammond said. "Our mission is very specific. To defend Earth from attacks by the Goa'uld. We can't involve ourselves in the affairs of every world we come in contact with."

"Really?" Leonard folded his arms and bounced on his toes. "From what Meldor revealed to us, you guys do a lot of that."

"That's true, dude. General dude," Raj said.

"And you mess up quite a bit," Howard said. "Although you're good at fixing things, Major Carter," he said flirtatiously.

"Howard, it's me," Penny said from inside Carter.

"Oh, right." Howard turned to Carter-Penny. "You're really good at fixing things, Major Carter."

"Thanks, Howard," Carter said in Penny's voice.

"But you guys do mess up," Leonard said, pointing a finger.

"Hey!" O'Neill said sharply. "No comments from the peanut gallery." He looked down at Meldor. "It's like General Hammond said: we're at war with the Goa'uld."

"Our Great Leader is forming an alliance with the Goa'uld," Meldor said.

"That's different," Hammond said. "S-G-One, prepare to escort our new friends home."

"We're on it, general," O'Neill said. "But won't we have trouble blending in with a bunch of little green guys?"

"We live among humanoids," Meldor said.

"You will, to use an Earth expression, 'blend right in,'" Meldon said.

"Roger that." O'Neill then pointed to Sheldon's group. "You four head back to Pasadena."

"Aah," they all groaned.

Sheldon stomped his foot. "But I wanted to go through the Stargate," he whined.

"Yes, can't we go through the Stargate just once?" Raj pleaded.

"No!"

When Meldor tilted his head, Carter thought how he looked even more like Thor.

"These four must come with us, Colonel O'Neill. They are vital to our plan."

O'Neill waved dismissively. "I can't provide extra troops to protect them."

"We will see to that, colonel."

O'Neill pointed back and forth. "Can you at least put Carter back where she belongs?"

"We cannot."

"At least not for the moment. Mind transference is a temporary condition that will wear off in a few hours."

"Great," O'Neill grumbled.

"Prepare to depart in one hour," Hammond said.

"I get to go through the Stargate! Oh, goody!" Sheldon clapped as he jumped up and down.

So it was that they went through the Stargate. One thing led to another, and as usually happens on one of these missions, they ended up in a dungeon. At least some of them did.

"This kind of reminds me of when we first visited Chulak."

"I remember it well, Daniel Jackson."

"Okay, this is not fun," Penny said as Carter.

"How is it we're down here, and Sheldon and those guys are out there walking around free?" O'Neill waved his hand as he grumbled from the center of the dark cell.

"Very simple, Colonel O-Neill," Meldor as he tilted his head and blinked his dark eyes. "The Great Leader's troops saw them as non-threatening."

"I can see that," Daniel said.

"Indeed," Teal'c said with his hands behind his back. "They would be most inconspicuous among the other humanoids in your capital city."

"Plus, they're, you know, them," Penny said as Carter.

"Quite so," Meldon said as he pointed a long green finger at the members of SG-1. "You, on the other, hand, wear uniforms and carry weapons. Naturally, you were going to attract the most attention."

O'Neill's eyebrows shot up. "And you couldn't tell us that before we got here?"

Meldor tilted his head the other way and blinked some more. "If we had, you might not have gone through the Stargate with the four intelligent ones."

"Got you there, Jackie boy," Penny said with Carter's little laugh as she once again punched O'Neill on the shoulder. .

Glancing at his shoulder, O'Neill frowned. "You be quiet." He then scowled at the two aliens. "You know, you two runts are really starting to annoy me."

"We are sorry, Colonel O-Neill."

"Yes, forgive us, please. But all of you were needed for our plan."

"Just tell us how to get out of here," O'Neill said.

Penny gestured with Carter's thumb. "I'm with Grumpy Colonel here. Let's blow this popsicle stand."

"Wait a minute," Daniel said. "Sheldon and the guys said you two could turn invisible. Could we use that to get out of here?"

"That power is quite limited, Doctor Jackson."

"But we have used it to cloak our mind-transference devices."

"We plan to use those to make our escape."

In the silence that followed, it took a while but a look of realization spread across Colonel O'Neill's face.

"Oh, no," he said insistently. "No, no, no, no, no, no. No way. Uh-uh."

"It may be the only way, sir," Carter said as Penny.

"It'll be fun," Penny said.

"I highly doubt that," Teal'c said.

"I'm with Teal'c on this one," Daniel said.

Moments later, O'Neill stood in bright daylight as he examined the long lanky arms he held out.

"I really don't want to be Sheldon," he groaned in Sheldon's voice.

"What are you complaining about?" Daniel asked. "Look at me. I'm Howard." He waved hands over his skinny little body.

Teal'c held out the arms of Raj. As he examined them, he said, "I feel I will be most ineffective at hand-to-hand combat in this condition."

"You and me both, buddy," O'Neill-Sheldon said.

"This will make for a most effective infiltration," Meldor said in Leonard's voice. "When you enter the Great Leader's chamber, you will simply be laughed at."

"I can understand that," O'Neill said as he examined Sheldon's hands. "I'd laugh at me, too." Sighing, he waved one of those hands. "Let's go."

Inside the dungeon, Leonard-as-Meldor waved his little green hands. "Look at me! I'm an alien! This is so cool!"

"Ah. You're so cute," Penny-Carter said.

"Really?" Leonard formed a smile on the green face, making him look kind of like Groot after he's used his tree branch limbs to smash a bunch of troops. Then he sniffed. "I smell kind of funny. Am I sweating?"

Sheldon-as-O'Neill sniffed Leonard-the-alien. "I think this species is part platypus."

"The ladies are going to love me now," Howard said as he removed Daniel's glasses.

"You guys, look at me!" Raj talked excitedly in Teal'c's deep voice as he also flexed Teal'c's muscles. "I'm HUGE! I'm so big, you guys. It's awesome!"

"Sure is, buddy," Leonard said as he tilted his little green head up.

Sheldon-as-O'Neill sat down on the right side of a bench. "What shall we talk about while we wait?"

They were arguing about Superman, Kandorian dry cleaners, and Kryptonian skin cells when the cell door opened and in stepped...them.

"All right, guys." The one who looked like Sheldon spoke with the commanding authority of Colonel O'Neill. "It's all over. We can head back home. And this whole mind thing eventually wears off."

"What happened?" Leonard asked as Meldor.

Daniel spoke in Howard's voice. "First, we had to break into Meldor's lab and retrieve the prototype for his mind transference device. But it was just like Meldor said: the guards didn't see us as a threat because, well, we looked like this." He gestured to his shirt, or more correctly, Howard's shirt. "No offense."

"None taken, dude," Raj said in Teal'c's voice.

"We then met with one of Meldor's associates, Keruon," Teal'c said with Raj's hands behind his back. "He agreed that once his mind was transported inside the Great Leader, he would provide benevolent rule."

"Keruon has been preparing for this for some time," Meldor said as Leonard.

"Could have given me some warning the way you did him," Carter said as Penny.

"Our apologies, Major Carter," Meldor said as Leonard.

"We thought the transference would make you happy," Meldon said.

With Penny's lips, Carter grinned. "I'll let it slide. This time."

"We all could have used some warning. Can I go on with what I'm saying?" O'Neill waved Sheldon's hand. "Once we contacted Keruon, we strolled into the Great Leader's chambers, Meldor unleashed his mind transfer doohickey, and booyah, reign of terror over." Once again, he waved Sheldon's hand. "Okay. Let's move out and head for the Stargate." He then noticed Carter holding a hand to her head. "Carter, you all right?"

She smiled. "I'm fine, sir. I'm back where I belong."

"Great news."

"I'm back, too," Penny said, doing a little wave with her fingers. She looked around uncertainly. "Although I'm not exactly sure who I should hug."

"Let's postpone that indefinitely, shall we?"

"Ah, Colonel O-Neill. You're just like Sheldon."\

"I am not like Sheldon," he said in Sheldon's voice.

"I would be okay with a hug," Raj said as he held out big bulky arms. Penny obliged him.

Leonard held out little green arms. "I'll take a hug, too."

Penny made a face, this time using her own face. "How about when you're not a sweaty alien?"

"Ah," Leonard groaned.

Again, O'Neill waved Sheldon's hand. "Let's move out."

"You know, there is a problem here," Leonard-Meldor said. "Until we get back to normal, we'll have to hang out at Stargate Command."

"Great," O'Neill-Sheldon muttered.

"Wait a minute," Howard-Daniel said. "What happens when the mind transfer wears out on Great Leader?"

"Until he changes his attitude, we will keep reinforcing the mind transfer," Meldon said.

"Okay," Howard said, nodding Daniel's head. "So, Colonel O-Neill, ready to hang out with us?"

"Oh. There is nothing I want more."

Using O'Neill's face, Sheldon frowned. "Is that sarcasm?"


End file.
